Thursday, March 18, 2010

As the winter winds down ...

Before Spring comes rolling in, I thought I would recap (since I've been slacking) some of the fantastic things that have been going on in my life these past few weeks before my fabulous vacation to Costa Rica (go ahead, be jealous) ...

Snowtubing and drinking
Two weekends in a row, I hung out with JWow and her co workers. The first weekend was a snowtubing and beer tasting trip in Connecticut. After a day full of injuries (and the realization that my Sony camera is a beast and can never be broken) and some beer, we went to Blockheads for some margartias. That was about as much as I could handle that weekend since my whole body was in pain for a literal week after the trip. The next weekend (which was also the night before Hoboken St. Patty's) we went to a country music playing bar on Friday night after work. A few notable things happened this night:

1. JWow made friends with a frightening man named Sleeves (sleeved tattoo arms) who made his friends buy us all shots of Jameson (I was the only girl to actually do the shot).
2. JWow's gay bff Pauly D showed up and gave me my first motorboat of life. Quite the shocking experience when you are dancing with someone and they motorboat you ...
3. We drank many fishbowls and were being generally obnoxious at the bar (not a surprise)

Even after this fun night, we all met up at the PATH train at 1030 am to go to Hoboken and celebrate for the day. It was a gorgeous day in Hoboken and we started the day off at an apartment party. After the cops came twice and the guys that live there got $4,000 in fines for people throwing things out the window, we decided to leave. My favorite quote from that party was (In reference to a girl wearing too-tight leggings with a muffin top): "She has zero respect for this party ... it's just disrespectful."

We left the party and went to another place for a party. It ended up being a big college reunion INCLUDING the first one night stand that I ever had showing up (awks). All in all, it was a really fun day full of FREE day drinking. At 730 pm we decided to take the PATH home and it was SWAMPED. On the PATH train, one of our friends started cuddling with a guy and saying it was her path boyfriend. My favorite part was the whole train car singing the national anthem ... all in all, a solid performance for Hoboken St. Patty's Day.

The Great Storm
This past weekend, we had 2 full days of torrential downpours that led to power outages and really bad driving conditions. Saturday night, I thought it was high time to do two strategic things ... 1. see JWow one last time before my upcoming vacay and 2. make out with someone. Two birds. One Stone. JWow texted me that some guys wanted us to hang out and that I should meet everyone on the UES at their apartment. After an hour and a half of delayed buses, powerless trains, and taxis stuck on the FDR, I finally made it all the way up town. I had a few glasses of vino and some champagne and we immediately (of course) went back downtown to the bar. At the bar, JWow switched to water because she was already feeling sick, everyone we were with started saying "Here, here" every time we took a sip of our drinks (trying to bring back the days of Titanic), and shots of Patron were also being consumed. Jack Dawson (who was previously unnamed in this blog, but was the guy who confronted Hedge the first night that I boned him) was flirting with me (in person and via BBM while we were at the same bar ... lame, but whatever). Obviously we were dancing, started making out, and getting REALLY inappropriate on the dance floor. He propositioned me (or I propositioned him?? doesn't matter) but for multiple lady reasons, it was not going to happen (one reason being my preparation for an upcoming wax appointment for vacation). Instead, I decided to lay down the law by literally pointing my finger in his face and saying:

"I will hang out with you on Tuesday. We will bone and you will not try, in any way, shape, or form, to be my boyfriend. If you even try to call me the next day, I will be REAL PISSED." He laughed and agreed. Later that night, I threw up in a cab - so classy and then had to go home on Sunday to give the dog to my family to babysit while I'm away.

St. Patty's Day - NYC
So turns out that Jack and I didn't meet up until Wednesday which was also St. Patty's day. Buckle your seatbelts faithful blog readers, this is an epic story ...

So Wednesday I had to work, but I left around 430 to meet a friend for a few beers before I got waxed for vacation (bad timing with St. Pattys huh??). So I had 2 beers and headed to the spa - fyi, quickest way to kill any buzz is to get your whole self waxed ... epic fail. I went to the bar and had too many beers and shots of Jameson then for tapas. TI-83 showed up, realized who I was bbming with (Jack) and started telling me he was a "penis". I took that as my cue to ditch the CPA and get out of there to meet up with said penis. After 2 bars, lots of beers, and hanging out with his roomie in Union Square til 3 am, went back to their apartment and stayed awake all night if you catch my drift (which was very fun and I'm pretty sure I will continue this upon my return). I woke up this morning at 6 am, realized that I am SO FAR from my apartment and my office and had to walk/subway of shame all the way to the village.

I sketchily snuck into the office wearing the same clothes as yesterday, no makeup on my face, looking like hell. LUCKILY I had an extra outfit in my desk (don't ask) so I'm all set for today - but need to be more prepared for next time.

Until after vacation - Smushes and Smooches xo

Friday, March 12, 2010

It's been a while

So this post is going to be majorly long ... take a deep breath, get a snack, and enjoy the hilarity that is my life.

After Hot Pocket left that weekend, work has gotten really crazy (hence my lack of posting for the past few weeks) and weeknight outings have been slowing down (not completely and this is temporary - I promise). That being said, I have been having ALOT of fun and with my friends, you never know what is going to happen:

Hedgehog update:
At the advice of one of the smartest single ladies that I know, I blocked him on BBM and gchat and was told "he will just think you are always offline" - this did not stop him from straight texting, calling, and emailing me at work and my gmail - FAIL. I basically ignored him until I got this email and I quote:

"hey, so I get the hint and usually i would just let it go and move on but for sanity sake can you tell me what happened? In all honesty I just I just can't figure it out. Usually its pretty obvious but with you, not so much because the last time we saw each other I thought things were going good (if not great) and then you went completely silent. Did you not like the breakfast I made? :) Just trying to avoid making the same mistakes again."

Naturally, the first thing I did when I read this was immediately (literally within 1 minute of receiving it according to email time stamps) forward to my besties with a "WTF" in the subject line. Polly Pocket was the first to reply:

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're gonna have to be honest with him ....

You just didn't like the breakfast."

Meanwhile let's review a few key points having to do with this non-relationship and the email.

1. It really was me, not him. I just am not ready for a relationship but thought I was sparing this dude by not telling him "it's me not you" ... that was obviously a mistake
2. I hate bad grammar and his email was full of it.
3. I hate corny shit and his last line was corny.
4. This is not a job interview, you cannot solicit feedback from me on what you did to apply it to a later experience.

So how this all ended up is pretty mature too (glad we are in our 20s and 30s here) ... he went away this past weekend and texted me upon his return on Sunday:

Hedge - "Hey can I get my book back? My buddy wants to borrow it"
Me - "of course"
Hedge - "cool, lets meet this week and ill give you your dvd too"

Shit. He has my Glee Season 1 dvd ... now I must meet him. Clearly I am not trying to go at this alone, so I enlist JWoww to be the awkwardness buffer. We went to see Shutter Island (love me some Leo) and went for drinks afterwards in Union Square. I text Hedgie that we are in Union Square and he is obviously miffed that JWoww is in attendance and replies "I'm in midtown". Fuck that. So I asked if he would swing by and grab it on his way home and he wrote "Just forget it. Don't worry about meeting up again. Ever." ... Does this mean I'm not getting my dvd back?

I'm not keeping this book - this is EXACTLY like the time that Bacon had my dog and it was just a reason/excuse to call me from time to time and bitch about nothing. I will be mailing the book back this weekend. Though I have thought about taking it for my collection of "personal items that random dudes trying to be my boyfriend give me during dates" ... long collection title I need to think of something more succinct ... but this would be joining the guitar pick that I got from TI 83s friend over Halloween HAH.

ANYWAY - need to run, but lots more coming later this weekend about Snowtubing, Irish weekend in Hoboken, my upcoming vacation, and of course whatever is bound to happen tomorrow night when I'm out with JWoww!!

Smushes and Smooches (or lack thereof thanks to Hedge blowing up my spot).